I’m really obsessed with amazing questions.
I think EVERYONE should have 3 amazing questions in their back pocket. You never know when you’re going to want to bond with a new friend, or dig deep over a great dinner with your partner…
…or have to schmooze with a client, yet are tired of the same boring questions.
I recommend always having 3 questions at the ready that you are curious about. Ideally, these increase in intimacy. Here are mine:
1. “Working on anything exciting recently?”
This is my safe question. I ask it daily and to everyone all the time: I ask it in the checkout line, on conference calls, with clients, and even at dinner with my hubby. It’s great because it is close to “how’s it going,” BUT it breaks the social script and gets people to think more positively. Variations can include:
- What are you looking forward to these days?
- Doing anything exciting this weekend?
- Anything exciting in your life right now?
- Did you do anything exciting this weekend?
Worried that they will say no? That’s ok! That’s your chance to either tell them something exciting in your life, or help them brainstorm something in theirs.
2. “Is there something you’ve always wished you could learn?”
This question stimulates the MOST interesting conversations! It is a wish-related question, so it triggers people’s sense of wonder (and dopamine, if you want to get technical). It is also a great way to get a sense of someone’s curiosity levels and openness.
I have a confession… this is my deal-breaker question. If someone answers, “I don’t want to learn anything” or “no,” I know they are not my person. If you can, have one of your back-pocket questions be a deal-breaker question. It’s a great way to find your people faster.
3. “What’s something most people don’t know about you that would surprise them?”
This is my most advanced, most intimate, back-pocket question. I find that when I am really trying to get to know someone, THIS question takes us to the next level. Can I tell you something interesting?
People often answer the same thing! In fact, I often get the same two answers. You try this question with some people in your life and you might get the same answers too (it’s a fascinating peek into our humanity).